I'm writing this from my office, where I arrived this morning at 8:30 with the intention to spend the morning working on a giant mailing that really should have been finished before the holidays and is going to cause me considerable pain upon my return next week when I have to tell my co-workers that yes, incredibly, it's still not finished
. As my reward for coming in to work on a day off (my office is technically closed today), I was then going to spend the afternoon working on my long-neglected Snape fic.
It's past 4:30, and I think I might actually prefer going back to work on the mailing for the last few minutes before the guard kicks me out. You know that feeling of unreality, of can't get there from here
, that you sometimes encounter when trying to return to a writing project you've set aside for weeks? The feeling you have when, in trying valiantly to arrive in the Writing Zone, you Splinch yourself? I haz it, in spades.
I've been trying to make myself write since my vacation began on the 17th. Instead, I've seen no fewer than seven movies (including, happily, Velvet Goldmine, which I've only had out from Netflix since April); cleaned my apartment; finally called Apple about my desktop computer that crashed in early December (the prognosis is not good, and my Apple Care plan has conveniently expired); gone to a bunch of fancy-schmancy NYC coffee places to sample fancy-schmancy brewed-to-order beverages (cheaper than fancy-schmancy dinners, that's my reasoning); attempted to read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in Spanish (despite the Harry Potter element, this is a LOT like work); shopped for some hardcore, old-school wellies in the wake of the Slushpocalypse; gone into the office several times to work halfassedly on the mailing; and I don't know what all else. The usual life-maintenance stuff and trivial shit that always eats up half the day, whether you're working or not.
I haven't posted a new installment of the fic since chapter five went up in October. From the outside, I'm sure this looks like a classic case of WIP author flakeout, but it really wasn't. I just couldn't handle a full-time job, plus two night classes**, plus the fic. I wanted
to be writing the fic all that time; Lord knows I would rather think about Snape than about how to use twelve unrelated Spanish words in a single paragraph. Now that I have the time, it seems I would rather do anything else.
And yet the writing needs to happen now, while it can. I'll be taking two classes in the spring semester also, so the time crunch is not going away any time soon. At the very least, I need to get chapter six posted, as an indication that I haven't flaked out/lost interest. The only problem (well, one of the problems) is that chapter six is, by my own reckoning, kind of boring. Several commenters who've followed along with the fic so far have been kind enough to imply that they were looking forward to the next installment, but chapter six will be rather a poor reward for a nearly three-month wait. Chapter seven is better, and an ideal scenario would have me posting it simultaneously with chapter six to sweeten the pot, but it needs even more work than chapter six does; whole sections are still unwritten.
Now might also be an opportune moment to finally
say thank you to the mystery reader who nominated my fic for a Deathly Hallows Award for Best WIP. It didn't win - nor, given my nonexistent progress on the thing, should it have. But it was gratifying to have proof that someone had read it and remembered it for longer than ten seconds after they'd finished. So, whoever you are, mystery nominator - thank you. I'd like to promise I'll continue to justify your attention with a new installment just any old day now
, but I've already learned that making promises and predictions about this fic will only get me in trouble. I'll do what I can, as soon as I can.
(I have a feeling that anyone reading this who's interested in reading the fic, "Advanced Potion-Making," has already done so, but for the record, it's here: marauderbigbang.dreamwidth.org/2604.html
In the meantime: Happy 2011.*This song sounded so nice over the opening credits of Velvet Goldmine that it made me put Eno's Here Come the Warm Jets, an album I'd half-listened to and filed away for later, back into heavy rotation. It's good!
**Grades were just posted, and *feels vindicated, damn right* I got A's in both classes, so the fic was not sacrificed for nothing. Also, I still have my job, and under the circumstances this is something of an accomplishment too.